Proverbs on His Awesomeness Nev the Dev (part 01)

Galileo's drawing of Constellation Neville (re-drawn by: Aditya)
  • Neville proves newton wrong all the time. every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
  • Neville once went to a pitch and the client lost.
  • Neville once had a panic attack, the panic lost.
  • HIV protects itself against Neville.
  • Neville once shot a TVC, it died at the sight of him shooting.
  • Neville will never have a heart attack, becuase even his own heart wouldn't dare to attack him.
  • Neville doesn't have headlights on his car, because light can't travel faster than he drives. He invented the screw driver so that he doesn't have to drink and drive.
  • No game is played with two balls, because no sport would dare to play Neville.
  • The tagline on the Nike products that Neville buys is "please don't do it so hard". For Adidas products it's "bring hard on". For Robi it's "jole uthun neville-er shoktite". And, for airtel it is "dil jo chaye is neville". For all condom brands it is "ARE YOU KIDDDINGGGGG MEEEE???" Intel has a new tagline - "Neville inside", as well as Nokia's - "connecting people to neville" and Mountain dew - "dar ki agey neville hai".
  • St. valentine celebrates the Neville's day.
  • Kamasutra is just a fancy name for "Neville for dummies"
  • Black men talk about neville's thing. The Jamuna bridge is breaking down because Neville doesn't like anything bigger than his. That is also why Cox's bazaar's beach isn't the eighth wonder of the world. Neville uses an apple, because he can't imagine a micro soft. Neville had a morning woody, and therefor the ozone hole. Archeologists found the medieval name for Neville in North India. it's qutb. they even have a minar to celebrate his erection. Light-saber was designed after Neville's erection.
  • Durga had normal limbs before she decided to give Neville a hand job.
  • Master Yoda was Neville's padawan.
  • God created earth and Neville rejected the first draft. The deadline for creating the world was 9 days, so Neville told God 7. Neville wanted a breakfast, so he said "let there be light", and God said, "ji achcha". God created man, and then Neville briefed him to create woman. Neville was bored, so he briefed the serpent to fetch Eve.
  • Neville stands under Pool Seerat.
  • Neville is THE exception that proves the rule. Neville doesn't go by the rules, he just rules.
  • Definition of a nun: someone neville refused to have sex with.
  • Virgin Mary never met Neville.
  • Neville once questioned his own sexuality and men had an ass crack.
  • All the continents were together before Neville reached puberty.
  • Darth Vader never existed. It was actually Neville wearing the black suit when he felt like playing god in his early adolescent days.
  • Neville punished Superman to wear his underwear over his pants for the rest of his life as he once tried to give Neville a wedgy.
  • Hendrix once Thought about being a better guitarist than Neville. He asphyxiated on his own vomit. Beethoven made himself deaf in shame after jamming with Neville.
  • Neville does not like to brag which is why scientists have to come up with alternative explanations for the global population. Neville does not like to brag, which is why scientists hide the true big bang theory. Consensus among the scientific community is that Pabna is the birthplace of sex.
  • Global warming happened because Neville is so hot. Global warming happened because neville went without sex for seventeen minutes.
  • Dinosaurs had an argument with Neville. the rest is his story. Einstein tried to argue with Neville, relativity lost.
  • There is no evolution. there are only creatures Neville decided not to fire. Pluto didn't get a permanent position as a planet because Neville didn't like its work.
  • Neville does not breathe, he hates consuming anything that is not branded. Neville doesn't breath, because he has delegated it to an account manager.
  • Neville is Victoria's Secret. Neville IS the four horsemen of apocalypse.
  • Advertising began when neville first took off his pants. ATL communication began when he unzipped, BTL began when he took the pants off, and TTL began when he took it out.
  • Neville once went to a land for a quicky. The land is now called Indo-China. Neville once had a premature ejaculation, and Pompeii was lost forever. Neville died once and was buried. Mt. Everest came up.
  • Samuel l. Jackson actually plays Neville in all his movies or else he would have gained weight a long time ago. Neville doesn't act regularly because he finds the Oscar statuette gay.
  • Hefner got married because Neville is here now. Hefner keeps marrying because Neville is still around. Hugh hefner neville er bharatiya.
  • Fuck'ushima had an earthquake because Neville fancied japanese women for 7 minutes.
  • The Bangladeshi education system went with the GPA formula because no can stand once Neville does.
  • Reality didn't exist before Neville said "oh! really?" When Godard wanted to make a movie Neville said, "Oh REALLY?!"
  • Neville doesn't brief, he likes them bare.
  • Tomorrow never dies, because it has an appointment with Neville to attend to first.
  • Rome was built in a day because Neville set the deadline.
  • Awami League isn't a party, because Neville didn't host it.
  • Neville discovered America, twice.
  • What do you have when neville is done with his morning ritual? The Yellow Submarine.
  • Neville doesn't go to a gym. he waits at the bar while the gym comes to him.
  • Neville can't pronounce we, because I is good enough for him.
  • Neville invented the language English to amuse himself with different pronunciations.
  • Neville made the earth round to turn him on.
Produced by: Iresh, Aditya, Emran and Sharmin