Living with a PBPD

I am married to a woman with the blackest kind of BPD, comorbid with paranoia. If not for our daughter I would have divorced her and probably filed a lawsuit for partner abuse.

She took away all my financial means on the pretext that I was secretly abusing that money. Then she threw me out of the house because she claimed to be repulsed by the very sight of me. For a year I was the highest salaried homeless person in town.

She forbade me going near my daughter who loves me crazy because according to her I am a child molester. And then she started using my daughter against me. The little one has already started to show signs of PTSD. A result of her BPD driven parenting.

She found my family, my mother, my friends, my passion for art and poetry and even my job to be her enemies. So, she crested enough drama to isolate me from all of that. When the isolation came to a satisfactory level for her she started a direct smear campaign against all.

I have started to ignore her completely. I don't respond to her provocations anymore, so she is increasing the intensity and changing her tactics. She is at the moment confused by her inability to hurt me crazy. But I know she will find a way.

She may be disturbed, but her acts make her completely evil. I don't care for me anymore. Everything I had she managed to destroy – career, family, poetry, love, hope, joy… everything. I have no reason to continue living if not for my daughter.

I worry about the little one. An evil BPD mother is one of the worst things to happen to a child. I couldn't protect myself from the darkness of a PBPD. But I need to protect my daughter from her evil mother.

I am afraid that she will start hurting her to get to me. When that happens, I might come down upon her with hell fire. God be my witness.

Early in my marriage with my really black PBPD wife when one of the periods of peace went too long I started getting hopeful. I was putting 200% effort to meet every standard, every demand, every requirement possible. I was hopeful that my hard work was paying off. I thought I had managed to please the unpleasable.

Then one day she very sweetly, as sweet as a Mafia executioner, brought me back to reality, “See, now that I don't speak about the filthy life you lead how nice the home is working?” I was ignorant. I really tried to understand the “filthy life” I was leading at the time. Believing in her and trying to improve my self has done me more harm than anything else.

I am struggling to survive through a toxic marriage with a PBPD every day. Her greatest weapon to keep the Stockholm Syndrome alive is tactful hoovering, tactics that I now call the butterfly flutter, the everything is as fine as before, the you need me, the I need you… and so on.

My biggest survival tactic is of a grey rock, silently, patiently and consistently merged into the background. As little interaction as possible, which is often almost zero contact. Tough when you share a house and a daughter you both care about. I am trying. Hard. It's not easy, believe me.

It's working. Way less hoovering these days, and way absolutely horrible meanness and open hostility, all without any apparent change in triggers.

Considering how hyper-sharp in torture department she is I still am afraid that she will find a way to get to me to grind me down to earth whenever she feels like. Until then grey rock is working notwithstanding how twisted that working is.

My bpd partner has ruined lives of me and my daughter as well as her own. I am trying to salvage something at least for my daughter. I used to love her like crazy, now I completely hate her, and I don't think I can ever love her again even a bit.

Why can't we make a sterilization bomb to drop on the third world to force them to stop birthing out babies and overtaking our nations?

Can I offer my country to be the first victim?
I am assuming that you mean poor countries when you say the third world, because, you see, there is no third world until you can tell what a second world is. More on that later.
I am a Bangladeshi from Bangladesh, one of the sh*thole countries that can’t stop birthing and are overtaking your nations.
By your nations, I assume that you mean affluent and developed countries, like western Europe or norther America, who by your mistaken notion belong to a first world (I wonder where the second one is, hmmm). Nice. I know who you are and I know where you live. In a moment that would become important.
First of all, my poor little sh*thole of a homeland is very crowded.

And, that holds us back a lot, despite making some amazing progress in the last decade or so.

The population is still growing, though at a rate of 1.1% now. There are some some 147 million of us (may be even 180 million, some say) living in 147,570 km². That means a Iceland-sized country (population 300,000) is hosting a Russia-sized population (size 17.1 million km²).
In Russia, about 9 people live per km², and in Iceland about 3 people. In Bangladesh, 1,500 people live per km². 20 million more of us floating around the world.
You want to stop us from overtaking your nation? Dude, we want us to stop from overtaking our own country. We are overtaking it a little too aggressively. Much like them…

If you don’t know who they are, let me introduce you the locusts, one of the seven pestilences of Egypt, the vanguards of the wrath of Abraham’s god.
We would appreciate the sterilisation bomb very much.

You see, all of us poorer and less developed countries have been trying to sterilise our people, without much success. May be, just may be, a sterilisation bomb would do the trick. In Bangladesh we started back in 1950s, and are still not making much progress.
But there’s a small problem. You will have to make that sterilisation bomb really big. Awfully big. Because, most of the 7 billion people in the world live in those poorer and less developed countries.

And, if it is really that big as to sterilise all of us citizens of sh*tholes, then it definitely will have residues in the air. All biological bombs work that way, as well as most other bombs, if not all.
When you have sterilisation agents polluting the air like thick smog. You face the consequences.

The winds that carried you sailships across the world and back colonising and plundering us for centuries will also, quite definitely, carry the sterilisation agent. To your nations. Super-volcano eruptions have been known to do that quite efficiently, despite volcanic ash being much heavier particles than biological agents.
That is terrible, innit?
When all you population goes infertile, everywhere on earth, you will have the last human generation roaming around. Everyone Dies™ in a generation. When they depart, the entire world goes back to its pre-human party.

Almost.

---

P.S. Please note that the third world is an outdated and obsolete concept and and an anachronistic throwback from the Cold War era, concocted by propagandists to denote countries that are unaligned to either USA or USSR (like Switzerland), while the first world were countries aligned with the US (like Haiti) and the second world were countries aligned with USSR (like Iran).

Food in ancient South Asia

The earliest Indians, the Harappans, probably ate mainly wheat and rice, millet and sorghum, chickpeas and lentils. Often they ate fish, if they lived near the coast or a river.

The earliest Indians, the Harappans, probably ate mainly wheat and rice and chickpeas and lentils, and occasionally cows, pigs, sheep, goats and chicken. Indian cooks used many Central Asian herbs and spices - cinnamon, cumin, coriander, anise and fennel. Some of the wheat was made into stews or soups, and some into flat breads called ‘chapatis’ or yeast breads called ‘naan’. Indian people also enjoyed chewing on sugar cane, which grew naturally in India.

Sometimes they ate beef, pork, lamb and goat meat, and chicken. Rice and chicken and citron fruit seem to have come from Thailand. Wheat and chickpeas, lentils and lamb came from West Asia. Indian cooks used many Central Asian herbs and spices, like cinnamon, cumin, cilantro (also called coriander), anise, and fennel.

Cooks made some of the grain into stews or soups. They baked grain into flat breads called chapatis or yeast breads called naan. Indian people also enjoyed chewing on sugar cane, which grew naturally in India.

Food in Ancient India faced remarkable changes during the Vedic Period which not only introduced new food items but also rules and etiquettes while taking the meal of the day. This also introduced division of meals during the day. The food in Vedic period is largely divided into the food of the Aryans and Dravidians which later on got divided into north and south India. Their food items as well as habits have been illustrated in the sutras and Vedas of the period which are the earliest literature of ancient India.

But by around 300 BC, under the Mauryans, a lot of Hindus felt that animal sacrifices added to your karma. Eating meat kept you from getting free of the wheel of reincarnation. Animal sacrifices became less popular. Although people didn’t give up eating meat entirely, they ate much less of it. A lot of people became vegetarians.

Mauryan food scientists expanded fruit choices for these new vegetarians by breeding two different kinds of citrus fruit together to get sweet oranges. About this time, these same food scientists also developed a better kind of sorghum, durra sorghum, that was easier to harvest. This new sorghum quickly spread to China, West Asia (and from there to Europe) and East Africa.

Food in Ancient India that was adopted during the Maurya period has been extensively discussed by Kautilya. He defines the specifications of an ideal kitchen and a proper diet of the Raja in Maurya Empire which was largely followed as a convention by almost all the people living in Maurya Empire. While this also sets a number of special food items and food etiquettes, this at the same time describes the culture of ancient India.

By around 300 BC, under the Mauryans, a lot of Hindus felt that animal sacrifices are added to ones karma and kept one from getting free of the wheel of reincarnation. Animal sacrifices became less popular, and although people didn’t give up eating meat entirely, they ate much less of it. A lot of people became vegetarians. Mauryan food scientists expanded fruit choices for these new vegetarians by breeding two different kinds of citrus fruit together to get oranges.Food in Ancient India, History of Indian Food

In the Gupta period, around 650 AD, Hindus began to worship a Mother Goddess. Cows were sacred to her, so Hindus stopped eating beef pretty much completely.

About the same time, Indian scientists invented a way to make sugar cane juice into sugar cubes. More people started to eat more sugar and sugary desserts. By 900 AD, lemons and purple carrots reached India from Central Asia too.

Food in Ancient India which was adopted by the Gupta Empire was mainly influenced by Buddism and Jainism which made a lot of changes in the culture of ancient India. In the Gupta period, around 650 AD, Hindus began to worship a Mother Goddess. Cows were sacred to her, and so Hindus stopped eating beef pretty much completely. About the same time, Indian scientists invented a way to make sugar cane juice into sugar cubes, so more people began to eat more sugar and sugary deserts. By 900 AD, new Central Asian fruits and vegetables, lemons and purple carrots, reached India too.

And then around 1100 AD, with the Islamic conquests in northern India, most people in India stopped eating pork as well, because the Quran says not to eat it. People could still eat lamb or goats or chicken, but most of the people in India became vegetarians, and only ate meat very rarely or not at all. Along the coasts and rivers, though, people did still eat plenty of fish.

The vegetarian food that Indians ate was mainly wheat flatbreads or a kind of flatbread made out of chickpeas, with a spicy vegetarian sauce with lentils, and yogurt. Or people ate rice, with yogurt and vegetables.

Drinks in ancient South Asia

Water (pani), of course, including spiced water like nimbu-pani (citrus-water) or jeera-pani (cumin-water). And, milk.

There were many milk-based drinks, including milk-based booze and milk mixed with cannabis-juice.

Milk and various milk products that were used include clarified butter, curdled milk, dadhi (curd), karambha (porridge), ghrta (unmelted butter), navanita (cream or fresh butter), sdnndyya (mixture of curd and milk), mixture of milk and sotna, cam (milk, curd, honey, butter etc. mixed together), sara (thickened surface of milk), etc.

Fruit juices, including fruit based booze. Honey, sugarcane-juice and palm juices, including booze made out of them.

There were many different types of fermented drinks made out of millet, barley or rice, many of them spiced/spiked to make interesting cocktails.

They even drank leaf-juices, root-juices and flower-juices. And, the king of it all - the juice of the Soma, a potent hallucinogenic beverage enjoyed, according to myths, by gods, demons and men alike.

Among leaves Aloe probably was the most popular, and among roots lotus-roots.
Soma is a long story. While it has been described extensively, especially its effects, across ancient history in most established text, the source of Soma, the Soma plant, remains unidentified.

Sarcostemma acidum, Amanita muscaria, Ephedra gerardiana, and Psilocybe cubensis has variously been proposed as the Soma Plant by different authors.

Opium and cannabis drinks have also been proposed as Soma, but that view is not endorsed by academic mainstream.

What is your reason for owning more than one gun?

I keep this…

inside this…

because I don’t want to fall prey to them…

or them…

or even them…

thank you.

Longest living human in evidence

Jeanne Calment. When she died in 1997 in France, she was 122 years old.
She was born in France a year before Alexander Graham Bell patented his telephone and 14 years before Alexandre Gustave Eiffel built his tower. She met Vincent van Gogh when she was 13.
Public health researcher and her biographer Jean-Marie Robine said, her secret was that “she was someone who, constitutionally and biologically speaking, was immune to stress.''
The rest of the top five longest living humans recorded ever:

May be their age at the time of death is not old enough. Let’s take a walk to the wild side to look for longer living people.

1. Zahhak (ضحّاک‎) lived for 1,000 years.
2. Methuselah (מְתוּשֶׁלַח) lived for 996 years.
3. Adam (אָדָם, آدَم‎) lived for 930 years according to bible, or 960 years according to hadith.
4. Jamshid (جمشید) lived for 700 years.
5. Bhishma (भीष्‍म) lived for 370 years.
6. Zuo Ci (左慈) lived for 300 years.
7. Nestor of Gerenia (Νέστωρ Γερήνιος) lived for 300 years.

I have not included immortals like Ashwatthama or Al-Khidr.
As for general people, here is a map of life expectancy:

The Japanese are the longest living people, with 84 years life expectancy., followed by Switzerland with 83.5 years. Singapore, Australia and Spain come next with 83 years life expectancy. With 80 years of life expectancy the US comes 31st on the list, and my country Bangladesh comes 102nd with 72 years.

Why Islam is viewed negatively?

There are a number of Christian terror groups are still out there, killing and torturing. (6 modern-day Christian terrorist groups)

Hindus in remote India still kills people on witchcraft charges. (Fighting Modern-Day Witch Hunts in India’s Remote Northeast)

Buddhist monks are fanning ethnic cleansing in Myanmar. (Straying From the Middle Way: Extremist Buddhist Monks Target Religious Minorities)

Communist factions are still bombing and burning in some corner of the world or other. (10 Left-Wing Terrorist Organizations From Around The World)

Every religion has its fair share of people who are violent and intolerant.

But, for most religions they are outliers. No one takes them as mainstream. Violent and intolerant people in most religions do not have funds, resources or connections to worry about.

Islam is different.

Because the violent and intolerant people of Islam are sitting on the biggest funds and resources in the world. And that doesn’t just include the declared and identified terror groups. Governments and communities practising intolerance, human rights abuse and violence in the name of religion/god are part and parcel of the scenario.

I am looking at the lowest common denominator among the Islamist intolerance and human rights abuse - Salafism. Following is a map of the Salafist world.



Then comes the map of their resource:



They have gas. And that makes them dangerous. That also makes them a target.

Muslims in the post-WWII world were led by people like Gamal Abdel Nasser, Mahathir Muhammad, Muhammad Ali Jinnah et al. They were liberals, and they were tolerant to a high degree.
Muslims were led by Ottoman, Abbasid, Idrisid, Mughal and a number of other empires. Those were largely liberal (at least liberal enough for their times) and sometimes highly tolerant. Ottomans sheltered Jews persecuted across Europe and Mughals experimented with Hindu-Muslim religious fusion.

In fact, the average Christian was way more violent and intolerant than the average Muslim in the middle ages. The Christian Crusades were worse than the Islamic Jihads.

But, the Crusades ceased. With the advent of Protestantism, Lutheranism and other more tolerant types of Christianity the whole religion grew out of its violent and intolerant past. The Spanish and French killed or force-converted entire populations in America and Africa. The British ruled half the world without any religious oppression.

The religious fringe for all religions withdrew to the fringe by 1970s. Only the communist threat remained. It was the time of so-called clash of civilisations - the liberal and democratic West versus the communist East.

In a hurry to end that status quo, the US created its greatest folly. And that involved Muslims.
By the 1980s USSR became the biggest oil power in the world, and it was their only foreign currency earner. President Ronald Reagan hatched the brilliant plan to offset Russian dominance in the world market with an alternative source.

That source was in the Gulf, and sitting on it were the fringest of fringe Muslims, desert dwellers who were denied any culture, literacy or civilisation for long. Arabia was ruled by desert Emirs who had only one claim to fame - superiority in horseback warfare (yes, in mid 20th century).

The US funded, trained and armed those fringe Muslims, the only followers of hardline Salafi movement, to extract, export and defend the oil. The whole balance of the world was reverted.



The result?

The most awesome strategic victory in history: Fall of Soviet Union and the Eastern Block, followed by capitalism in China and Indo-China. It was a victory of trade and diplomacy over military interventions.



The Muslims were the newest weapon of the US against the Red Empire. President Reagan also funded, trained and armed Afghan Mujahideens (groups that followed another fringe school of Islam, and who also were poor, illiterate and extremely backward) to fight against Russian occupation forces and heir collaborators.

Pakistan was already a US ally, and a bulwark against Soviet presence in South Asia. Mujahideens found a safe heaven in Pakistan, in areas dominated by gun-trotting Muslim ignorants, the violent fringe.

With all the oil, money and guns… the US propped up the Muslim fringe. It is like handing free guns, money and protection to KKK, hoping that they will be under control.

They are not under control anymore.

The little control they had - strong-man rulers of Iraq, Syria and Libya were either ousted or in trouble because of US intervention.

Illiterate followers of fringe Islam became the mainstream, and they have no scruples or control to stop them. They are not even articulate enough to make sense of their philosophy (the communists were way better in that regard).

One of my friends was a student of medicine in Morocco. Two of his classmates were Afghans who had fought as the Mujahideen. In the second year of their studies the Afghan boys packed up and left, telling that war was easier and more fun than studying medicine.

Another of my friend was a WHO worker in Khyber. At one time when he went with his team to immunise a village, the villagers took shelter in a cave, put artillery at the mouth of the cave and started shooting with assault rifles. All that because they believed that polio vaccines somehow takes away their Iman.

Yet another of friend was a hospital steward in Saudi Arabia. He was charged with weed smoking, and his tauba spared him from death. He came back with one of his hands cut off.

These are the people the US funded, trained and armed.

They key words are not Muslim or Islam. The keyword is fringe. Whatever religion violent and intolerant people belong to, they operate in the same way. With Islam they have more power.

For us, this is not the face of Islam any more:



…nor this:



…nor this:



…nor this:



We have successfully marginalised those who should be mainstream, and mainstreamed those who should remain in the political margins.

The story is the opposite for all other major faiths, including even communism.

And that’s why Islam receives so much negativity.